DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: Everybody knows what high school is like: people do drugs, drink, and have sex. I’m one of the few who is different. I've gotten looks of disgust when I say that smoking marijuana or drinking is bad — like I'm an evil person! I've lost three or four close friends because I won't participate. They are failing school, disillusioned about the future, and take advantage of the opposite sex. I don’t know what goes through their minds. Is anyone out there like me? – One Concerned Guy in Mission Viejo, Calif.
Editor's Note: "One Concerned Guy" also asks what goes through the minds of young people who drink and use drugs. I don't know how much actually goes through the mind, but there are three primary reasons young people use substance: 1) A desire to feel confident and uninhibited around the attractive sex; 2) a hard-wired desire, unique to the adolescent brain, to fit in and build social connections at all costs, including great risk; 3) an impulse to numb traumatic emotions.
The good news is that a growing positive force called the "straight-edge" movement is bringing popularity and respect to being straight. The principle of straight-edge is self-empowerment and being true to oneself — and being oneself, without a crutch, really is living one's edge. Many teens and adults haven't heard of straight-edge, but the movement is taking hold generically and most have no idea that it stemmed from punk and hardcore music. Saying, "I'm straight-edge," is a quick and non-judgmental way to say, "I don't use drugs or alcohol." The way of adolescence is to follow the popular crowd so as people in the in-crowd embrace straight-edge, others will follow. —Lauren
Comments
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If you don’t mind and “old guy” chiming in here, I can honestly say from experience that choosing to stay away from drugs and alcohol during my high school years has paid healthy dividends throughout my life.
Although I was subjected to some periods of intense peer pressure, I politely stood my ground. Those that left my life because of my stand were: 1)not true friends to begin with, and 2) turned out to be people I would never associate with today. I did have some close friends that pressured me—and do you know what? We’re still close friends to this day.
The adage, “it is better to be happy than right” can serve one well and avoid loss of friendships while still being safe. I am encouraged by the studies I occasionally see that have found that drug and alcohol use among high school students has declined since I was in high school.
So, One Concerned Guy, I truly understand the challenges you’re facing, and you are wise to seek advice from resources like Straight Talk.
Best of luck.
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Dear Straight guy,
I too abstained from all that when I was in high school. I never wanted to do drugs or alcohol and decided to abstain from sex until marriage. Be proud of your commitment to living a better lifestyle. Those friends you had would have just brought you down and you don’t want to limit yourself. Try joining clubs or volunteer at places, if you keep looking you will find other “Straight edges” out there. Don’t care what other people think, in the end your decisions will have better rewards then them. Stay strong in your beliefs.
